MK Speaker Series

THE HEADLINERS FOUNDATION PRESENTS
The Inaugural
*Michele Kay Speaker Series*

Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Go Behind the Scenes With Panelists Wayne Slater, Evan Smith, Peggy Fikac & Ken Herman as they discuss Rick Perry, Barack Obama and the year of the Teavangelicals How will the media cover the race?
for additional discussion questions see below
Wayne Slater is a Senior Political Writer for The Dallas Morning News. He previously served for 15 years as Austin bureau chief for The News covering national and state politics. He is a frequent guest on numerous network television shows and is co-author of two books, the New York Times best seller, Bush's Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential, published by John Wiley & Sons, and The Architect: Karl Rove and the Dream of Absolute Power, published by Random House

Evan Smith is the CEO and editor-in-chief of The Texas Tribune, which, in its first year in operation, won two national Edward R. Murrow Awards and a General Excellence Award from the Online News Association. Previously he spent nearly 26 years at Texas Monthly, retiring as the magazine's president and editor-in-chief. For eight years, Smith hosted the weekly interview program, Texas Monthly Talks, that aired on PBS stations statewide. He currently hosts, Overheard with Evan Smith, airing on PBS stations nationally
Peggy Fikac is Austin bureau chief and columnist for the San Antonio Express-News and Houston Chronicle. She covers government and politics - including Gov. Rick Perry's presidential race. Before the Hearst newspapers merged their Austin bureaus, Fikac was Express-News' bureau chief, starting just in time to jump on the campaign plane for George W. Bush's first presidential race. At the time, she considered it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cover a Texas governor running for president. She previously worked for the Associated Press, specializing in public education coverage, where she traveled with the late Ann Richards during both of her campaigns for governor
Ken Herman, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, is currently an editorial board member and columnist for the Austin American-Statesman. He began his journalism career in East Texas at the Lufkin Daily News in 1975. In 1977, Herman joined The Associated Press in Dallas, later moving to Harlingen to serve as the AP's correspondent there and, in 1979, to Austin to join the AP's Capitol staff. In 1988, he became Austin Bureau Chief for the Houston Post, a title he held until the paper folded in 1995. Herman then joined the American-Statesman as its Capitol Bureau Chief. From 2004-2009, he was the White House correspondent for Cox Newspapers.
During the course of the evening the panelists will also try to answer
What challenges do home-state reporters face when their governor seeks the White House?
How will Perry's campaign compare with George W. Bush's a decade ago?

Will national media rely on Texas journalists to help tell the story to the rest of the country?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
5:45 pm Cocktails 6:15 pm Seating 7:00 pm Buffet Supper
Reservations Required for Members and Guests
$30.00 plus tax, gratuity, and cocktails.
R.S.V.P. 479.8080 or by email
Limited Attendance
All no shows will be charged unless cancelled 48 hours in advance.

*The Michele Kay Speaker Series memorializes the late Michele Kay; former business editor, Washington correspondent and columnist for the Austin American-Statesman... and a journalist of international stature. The series will support the presentation of fresh insights regarding the practice and experiences of professional journalism; its challenges and its value to our society.

‘You Look Great’ and Other Lies

This piece was pointed out by one of Michele's family members. I think that it is spot on. (Still having great difficulity with formatting and spacing with the blog.)

RKS

http://nyti.ms/juwR7T

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-sick-this-life.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

‘You Look Great’ and Other Lies

by BRUCE FEILER Published: June 10, 2011 NYT

Six Things You Should Never Say to a Friend (or Relative or Colleague) Who’s Sick. And Four Things You Can Always Say.

First, the Nevers.

1. WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?

Most patients I know grow to hate this ubiquitous, if heartfelt question because it puts the burden back on them. As Doug Ulman, the chief executive of

Livestrong and a three-time cancer survivor, explained: “The patient is never going to tell you. They don’t want to feel vulnerable.” Instead, just do something for the patient. And the more mundane the better, because those are the tasks that add up. Want to be really helpful? Clean out my fridge, replace my light bulbs, unpot my dead plants, change my oil.

2. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
In my experience, some people think about you, which is nice. Others pray for you, which is equally comforting. But the majority of people who say they’re sending “thoughts and prayers” are just falling back on a mindless cliché. It’s time to retire this hackneyed expression to the final resting place of platitudes, alongside “I’m stepping down to spend more time with my family,” or “It’s not you, it’s me.”

3. DID YOU TRY THAT MANGO COLONIC I RECOMMENDED?

I was stunned by the number of friends and strangers alike who inundated me with tips for miracle tonics, Chinese herbs or Swedish visualization exercises. At times, my in-box was like a Grand Ole Opry lineup of 1940s Appalachian black-magic potions. “If you put tumeric under your fingernails, and pepper on your neck, and take a grapefruit shower, you’ll feel better. It cured my Uncle Louie.”

Even worse, the recommenders follow up!

Jennifer Goodman Linn, a former marketing executive who’s survived seven recurrences of a sarcoma and is compiling a book, “I Know You Mean Well, but ...,” was approached recently at a store. “You don’t know me, but you’re friends with my wife,” the man said, before asking Ms. Linn why she wasn’t wearing the kabbalah bracelet they bought her in Israel.

4. EVERYTHING WILL BE O.K.

Unsure what to say, many well-wishers fall back on chirpy feel-goodisms. But these banalities are more often designed to allay the fears of the caregiver than those of the patient. As one friend who recently had brain surgery complained: “I got a lot of ‘chin ups,’ ‘you’re going to get better.’ I kept thinking: You haven’t seen the scans. That’s not what the doctor is saying.” The simple truth is, unless you’re a medical professional, resist playing Nostradamus.

5. HOW ARE WE TODAY

Every adult patient I know complains about being infantilized. The writer Letty Cottin Pogrebin, who had breast cancer, is working on a book, “How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick.” It includes a list of “no-no’s” that treat ailing grown-ups like children. When the adult patient has living parents, as I did, many mothers in particular fall back on old patterns, from overstepping their boundaries to making bologna sandwiches when the patient hasn’t eaten them since childhood. “Just because someone is dealing with a physical illness,” Mr. Ulman said, “doesn’t diminish their mental capacity.”

6. YOU LOOK GREAT.

Nice try, but patients can see right through this chestnut. We know we’re gaunt, our hair is falling out in clumps, our colostomy bag needs emptying. The only thing this hollow expression conveys is that you’re focusing on how we appear. “When people comment on my appearance,” Ms. Linn said, “it reminds me that I don’t look good.”
Next time you want to compliment a patient’s appearance, keep this in mind: Vanity is the only part of the human anatomy that is immune to cancer.

So what do patients like to hear? Here are four suggestions.

1. DON’T WRITE ME BACK.

All patients get overwhelmed with the burden of keeping everyone informed, coddled and feeling appreciated. Social networking, while offering some relief, often increases the expectation of round-the-clock updates.

To get around this problem, I appointed a “minister of information,” whose job it was to disseminate news, deflect queries and generally be polite when I didn’t have the energy or inclination to be. But you can do your part, too: If you do drop off a fruitcake or take the dog for a walk, insist the patient not write you a thank-you note. Chicken soup is not a wedding gift; it shouldn’t come with added stress.

2. I SHOULD BE GOING NOW.

You’ll never go wrong by uttering these five words while visiting someone who’s sick. As Ms. Pogrebin observes of such visits, don’t overstay your welcome. She recommends 20 minutes, even less if the patient is tired or in pain. And while you’re there, wash a few dishes or tidy up the room. And take out the trash when you leave.

3. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GOSSIP?

One surefire tip: a slight change of topic goes a long way. Patients are often sick of talking about their illness. We have to do that with our doctors, nurses and insurance henchmen. By all means, follow the lead of the individual, but sometimes ignoring the elephant in the room is just the right medicine. Even someone recovering from surgery has an opinion about the starlet’s affair, the underdog in the playoffs or the big election around the corner.

4. I LOVE YOU.

When all else fails, simple, direct emotion is the most powerful gift you can give a loved one going through pain. It doesn’t need to be ornamented. It just needs to be real. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.” “I hate to see you suffer.” “You mean a lot to me.” The fact that so few of us do this makes it even more meaningful.

Not long ago, I reached out to my friend’s sister, Amy, who had endured three surgeries in the previous six months for a tumor in the thalamus. She was undergoing physical therapy and had just returned to work. What most annoyed her, I wondered?
“I liked having the family around,” she said, referring to her six siblings and their five spouses. “But I had a lot of issues with my room seeming like a party and my not being in a place where I could be down if I wanted.”

The most helpful tip she got? “People reminded me that I had a free ‘No’ clause whenever I needed it. Especially as someone who tends to please, that was helpful.”

So in the end, what would she say to someone like her sister who leaned over and asked for advice?

“Fully embrace the vulnerability of the situation,” she said. “I would never have gotten through it if I hadn’t allowed people in.”

That even included a new boyfriend, who became so intimately involved in her recovery that she allowed him access to her innermost self. The two became engaged in the I.C.U. and plan to marry next year.

Bruce Feiler’s memoir, “The Council of Dads: A Story of Family, Friendship and Learning How to Live,” has just been published in paperback.

MKDDS INAUGURAL EVENT

This is the first in a series that we have been working on for several months.

The Michele Kay

Distinguished Speakers Series

Inaugural Event

Featuring Peggy Fikac, Ken Herman, Evan Smith and Wayne Slater

"As presidential politics heat up,

how will the media in Texas

cover the race?"

Cocktails 5:45 pm

Program 6:15 pm

Dinner 7:00 pm

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

The Headliners Club